This is the basic things that people will ask you.... How's your weekend ? Well.. i'll definitely give the same answer. Fine.. just like my weekdays. Then, my friend "in me" had stumped me with his thoughts. ( I prefer to labeled "my friend in me" as a MAN.. not a woman... because half of my ribs will belong to a MAN soon.... or not)
"Fine, what "fine" ?? Look, i know fine is not in your daily "vocabulary"... Why don't you just tell me your life time buddy what's happened. What you'd done this time.... wreck yourself again !!!!????
Hem.. his lines is like the famous quote in Fifth Element film. Damn, he's gonna taste my karma's punch soon. He said it like he knows me for several years (apparently he knows me since i was born) . But then i sit back, wondering why he's soo sincere saying such a word. He's my imaginary friends after all, he's comfort me when i cried, he's the one who say 'ouch' when i punch the wall and he's the one that will scold me if i fell lazy to do my work. He's gonna be loyal to me until i die.
I wonder why he'd asked me to shared everything to him. Well, he's is my "inner me", he should know what i had felt automatically. I presume he "ask" me to respect everything in me. Now realize i'm pushing myself too hard.... i should know that i cannot pleased other people by hearing my thoughts. I only give my efforts and guts to stand up and give pieces on my mind.
"He's not gonna listen to your words Ziya. You're not in his league. Why don't you just give yourself a perfect oppurtunity. An oppurtunity to runaway from him"
I'm not agree with my "imaginary friend" thoughts. Runaway ??? I'm gonna be a coward person for my entire life. Others are too coward to give their honest thoughts or fight the battle that their had created themself. I don't mean that our thoughts will be always right. But if we don't try to express our opinions... we are bunch of useless creature. Share the thoughts are anticipate things and sometimes we can be hurt by it. Bear with it and take a good measure. I'm not a coward. Cowards have no guts to express their own feelings. They keep looking the things that will bring them advantages to rise and get honours. I wanna be a pure hero... a hero that will sacrifies his/her good names, accept to lose his/her battles or war , firm with his/her thoughts and consider others opinions to works better !!!. Hero can't work alone.. they also need supports and encouragements from his/her loyal team.
"A hero's visions is a coward's dreams".
I remember my Juntech's teacher had secretly wrotes the above quote just for me. In Form 5, i'd suffered of continous absent of my class leader (i'm a vice class leader) and my class teacher asked me to lead the class. I've to lead 33 boys and 2 girls in my class. Their attitudes do "killed" everyone in the school. Public canning is like a "compulsory things" to our class. But my class teacher keep support me to re-firm my visions. A visions to be a good class leader. No matter what happends. I think he's proud of me now. I'm a class leader and the best student of the class. I'd score the first place and several high marks in every test and exams.
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"But, that was in your teenager's year... how about adults ?" My imaginary friend ask.
I'm still 23 and i've a lot's of things to learn. It's hard to gain some attentions from people that older than you. It's sounds corny.... but why don't i give it a try and i did give it my best on it. I think my job already done.
"Does your words really effective.... i don't see anything changes ?" He continue.
Hey..... it takes time. It's like bringing your case to court... it maybe takes months or years.. or..
"Or it will ended up nothing, case closed... not enough evidences to convict !!!" He shouted.
Hey... i thought when i share everything to you, you'll give me some encougarement.... you sound like a decapitator now. You want to "decapitate" my visions ?. Go ahead. Now i'm considering to rusting you.... you no good imaginary friends.
FYI, it's too late now... I already begin my visionary war. I'm not gonna turn back my F-15 Eagle. I'd engaged the missile already. The missile now trying to blow the barrier. If the holes is not deep.. at least it had shattered the concrete arounds it. Do you get what i'm trying to say ???
"Not a pound for air-to-ground*... You're attacking it without warnings. Sounds like a "crusaders" to me. I'm sure there is other way to confront with that. The Barrier that you'd mentioned" He stressed.
No.... no other way. I'd get a lot's of opinions from others. It's not something shattering strike you know. Ah... come on. You're pretend not to know my situations now. You're potraying other people in me.
"I'm trying to save you from all of this," He admits
Look, I might lost the battle.. but i maybe win the war later !!!!!
* "Not a pound for air-to-ground" is a slogan for F-15 original design team.
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