Tag: Seven Reasons Why You Would Not Want Me As Your Girlfriend!

*Achtung !... Post ini dijangka akan menjadi post terpanjang dalam sejarah penulisan laman blog Euphoria Aziya. Gaya bahasa yang akan digunakan mungkin mengakibatkan sesetengah individu akan pengsan ribuan kali kerana gaya bad language aku akan terserlah yang amat. Jika Anda tidak mampu meneruskan bacaan yang berunsurkan Euphoric and zionism... sila tinggalkan laman ini segera....

First of all, aku dah lama tak buat Tag. Sebab banyak Tag yang aku dapat tidak mencabar minda aku langsung.. nada.. zippa ! I should thank Azzu for her "deadly tag" kerana aku telah menyelinap didalam blog beliau pada waktu yang salah. Tapi disebabkan tajuk Tag yang cukup interesting, aku menyahut cabaran beliau... muhahahahhaha.. Aku tidak suka memaksa individu2 untuk menjadi mangsa Tag aku... tapi what the heck.. if you want to know who will be my Tag's victim... sila baca perenggan terakhir.

Coincidentally, the tag really implies my status... I'm farking single and loves it ;p

To the guys who wants to share his life with me... I hope you will take time to read all of this.

Seven (7) Reasons Why You Would Not Want Me As Your Girlfriend / Boyfriend!

1. I'm fat and not attractive !!!!!

The strongest reasons why you would not want me as your girlfriend. It will be the first reason why most guy will left their woman (I'm not skeptical thank you) or looking for second wife. I don't need to explain more. I'd been too shy of myself because of that.. but finally I think I'd wasted my time because of feeling down about myself. I don't care about being less attractiveness anymore hahaha !!!! So... are you really don't mind to own me ? I bet you don't.

2. I can't make up your mind

A guy who are too sensitive and too emotional SHOULD stay away from me, compulsory !!!!! . You'll make me drown because kau seolah2 memaksa aku "memujuk" kau. I can make you fell happy but I can't make-up your mind when you are being over sensitive/emotional. Kalau kau sanggup bawak diri jauh2 sebab terlalu sensitif apabila ditegur. I advice you to don't ever come back to me. Ever !

Aku dibesarkan dengan selalu berhadapan dengan individu2 yang suka menegur, mencaci dan menengking. Jadi, kalau aku bersifat seperti kau wahai emotional guy. Aku rasa aku sudah lama mati bunuh diri. Lebih baik kau beritahu baik2 (dan bersikap berdiplomasi) sebab kau rasa kurang senang dengan apa yg aku lakukan. Kau tak boleh self-centered !

3. I'm the most boring person on earth

If you feel that your life is not boring ... Please don't put your bet on me "claiming that I'm entertaining". Akulah insan yang sungguh membosankan.. bukan aje hidup aku bosan.. aku juga cepat bosan dengan perkara2 yang membosankan. Kadang-kadang dengan hanya first impression, aku "segera" tahu bahawa benda itu sungguh membosankan. Memang menjengkelkan sifat aku yang satu ini.... Contoh, Aku adalah Simon Cowell yang terlebih setan. Kalau kau menyanyi sehebat Steven Tyler, belum tentu aku suka nyanyian kau. Aku cepat bosan dengan menyaksikan benda yang "sama" (contoh kebosanan aku tau !).

Muzik yang aku suka selalunya muzik yang agak old school atau retro beat. Jangan paksa aku untuk menyukai muzik yang kamu suka. Aku tidak akan "menghalang" influence muzik kau. Cuma kau jangan paksa aku untuk ikut "influence" hanjing kau... sial !!!!!. Automatis kau dengan lulus cemerlang, telah berjaya membuatkan aku bosan sampai aku nak "trigger" bagi flying kick!

4. I'm too independent and quiet

Aku selalu ditegur bapak ku tentang sikap aku yang suka mendiamkan masalah / kesihatan aku dan aku terlalu independent untuk mengatasi masalah aku sehingga aku hampir "mati" . Apabila aku sudah "kritikal" baru mereka tahu. Aku masih sukar untuk berkongsi masalah dengan kawan dan keluarga. Even my Best Friend Forever (BFF). Jadi aku tak dapat bayangkan jika kamu yang sanggup berkongsi hidup dengan aku terpaksa melalui "saat" begini. Sukar mencari pasangan yang mempunyai "passion" untuk menjaga dan melindungi diri aku sehingga akhir hayat.

5. I can't fulfill other's sense of fashion / style

Sedarlah baju2 di Malaysia nie sgt. banyak untuk mereka yang kurus sahaja. Kau ingat body macam aku nie bolehke nak berfashion ikut selera kau ? I can't wear skinned jeans, g-string, body shirt, dress or saree (larikkkk !!!!!!!). Tapi aku taklah bangang sehingga kena pakai baju pregnancy (lari lagikk !!!!). Aku masih ada curve and I have my own signature of dressing. I'm voluptuous, baby !!!! Tengok Jennifer Hudson, the way she dressed lebih hebat dari Mariah Carey mahupun Sarah Jessica Parker. Di mana keadilan untuk menjual pakaian2 cantik untuk kami2 yang full figured nie?. I love to admit that Victoria Beckham's style and product is a misery !!!!!!

6. I'm not a Human Trafficking "Update Devices"

If you're the one who love to have a girl to let you know where she's going, with whom, when she will back et cetera seolah2 mereka adalah gundik kau, dengan segala hormatnya aku menyembamkan muka kau ke taik longkang. I feel weired because woman needs to "burden" themself, calling her boyfriend and let him know where she is and what she'd done every few minutes and hours. Ada yang siap pasang GPS tracker and "friend finder" dalam handpon. Aku rasa diri aku nie jenis dishonest sebab mana aku pegi mesti kena beri tahu. Kalau aku dah masuk kubur kau kau nak tracking aku tak ???? Lemasnya akuuu !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Listen up my girls.. lelaki (kecuali suami kau) yang belum tentu akan kahwin dengan kau tapi dah terlalu control hidup kau supaya ikut apa yang dia mahukan. Obviously you'll feel down and cry bila dia marah sebab kau terlupa telefon dia, sampai boleh tak bertegur sapa hampir 3 hari atau lebih. Come on woman.... wake up !!!!!!

Lelaki.... jangan cabar aku jika kau mahu aku ikut segala telunjuk kau. Aku sanggup berkasar dengan kau kerana kau tak tahu sejarah hidup aku. Aku mahukan lelaki yang bersifat penyabar, penasihat yang baik dan memberi aku kebebasan... sebab aku pun tidak suka mengongkong hidup orang. Jadi, jangan kongkong hidup aku.

7. I'm definitely a "tremendous" picky

Before you bastard making a "boo" sound or outrageously saying I'm a Bitch, allow me to summarize you why I'm a picky... Many people said I'll married a Caucasian man or other races *laugh*. So... below this paragraph, I'd listed a few anonymous picture. I'll explain it to you so you'll know what kind of guy am I looking for....

REJECT

If you own a face that cute like Chinese's mantou, become heartrobes and liquid dreams to lot's of women. You're definitely not in my list. You want me to date this type of guy ? I'll look like his old hagged "mama". Tak kuase nyah !!!!! This type of guy obviously suitable to be anak ikan to "sugar daddy"............. larikkkkk !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

REJECT

There is nothing wrong for you guys who owns this type of body and looks. It just that I'll still look like an older "sister" to you. You should see my real face first before hook me up with you.

REJECT

This looks is okay. This guy has a sense of style. But having a bald, thick and weired gootie / mustache "in one look" is not in my taste. Addition, he's look too old for me.. oh my !

K.I.V

This looks is definitely a hottie-on-a go. You might feel weired why I didn't make him "pass" as he owns the face and gestures that millions of women will fascinate him like heaven. He is most likely to be the best person you want to lay, hugged and hooked on the bed (admit it !) I just wondering, if you owns this face... do you want to marry me? You'll probably pasang lot's of "girlfriends". I don't like to have a high-stakes relationship with you. I don't mind keep an eye of you. But seriously... do you really wants me badly ? *rolls eyes*

REJECT

Not just you look like a old hag. But you got a BIG desire to marry a younger women? Face it... women will marry you if you got lot's of cash and property. You're also trying to look like a geek. Like "duh"? You're not !!! I can tell who is geek and whose not. If you're these type of guy.. sorry

PASS

You might look "old" but if you own this gestures and characteristic, you'll definitely trembled me ! You're not a "cute" type.. you're mostly a rugged guy. You're down-to-earth, romantic and have a sense of good communication. You hates cheap talking and you don't "parade" yourself in front of hungry eyes. You love your partner and practice tantric sex with your loved ones (I don't care what position you wanna do. I have a high libido... you won't regret having me *laughing hard*)

PASS

The first important things that will makes me like you is.. You have a strong, mature characteristic in your faces and gestures. I like this guy-type who will walk in confidence and smile when greeting. You are definitely have a great eye contact, a geek and always pay a good attention of each situation you're in to. I can sense this type of guy has lot's of hidden talent and it will makes you surprised when you finally "discover" it. This guy can be the safest person you can be with as he will protect you.

PASS

Once again this looks... old. But you aren't a "hag" type of old. This is a strong "old". This guy will be one of a kind, he didn't talk much but he'll definitely careful on what he will do. He will always be firm of his thought, gestures and he will honor his lady, old people and will definitely loves kid. He will be a soft spoken and he is good comforting friends and other people. If you are this type of man.. you are also the person I'm looking for.



Conclusion, you're mostly wouldn't want me as your girlfriend. I'm picky, peachy, selective, hot-rod, troublesome and self-centered. At least I'd explained to you what kind of person am I and what kind of guy that I'm looking for *smile*

I want to tag these beloved people of mine, please fell free to do this meme :-

1) Badzli
2) Perky
3) Dr. Chen (my newbie Euphorian)
4) Lyana
5) Atiqah
6) HCFoo