.............and today I'd cried

The month Ramadhan is here... and I'm still hesitate over this glorious month...

I'm trying hard to write this.... but I'm too sober right know.

I'm having a nervous break down.... for being an unfortunate jobless people, financially burden, losing friends... I don't have anything left accept my broken heart that trying to seal the fate because of Lord.

O Allah... I'd nearly gave up over the huge fate you'd gave me.... and it's never ending drama... I'm my own warrior seek for inconvenient truth for why I'd been this unfortunate. I have to fight the battle that I didn't choose to be. Why people like to see me tormenting and panting in these road....

O Allah... I'm losing the one that previously willing to give thy shoulder for me to cry on... and now I have to accept that the bond is now broken as my vein heart. As I tried to cling to him... it seems we are now apart from being close....

I guess it's too late for me to know that I'm no longer thy concern... He wasn't the one as you choose for me, I look at him in hope that what I'd felt it's wasn't true, but then I knew it is true.....

So, hold my hand Lord, as I'm walking alone to soar this grieve of loneliness. Give me a world to believe in. Musk my lonely heart with the wind breeze, flowing away my anxiety like a flailing rose petals ...

O Allah... I just need someone that accept me for what I am... accepting the strength of me or the weakness of me. I can't survive this alone... I don't look person with full vision in this world... I just want to be with the one that love me from their eyes with your name and grace.

Lord.... if you still want me to find the route of eternal happiness... guide me Oh ye merciful... my two feet are sore enough to move on ...

Ramadhan is the month that you'd promised to grant an unconditional love to the fragile heart like me.... The 3 early Tarawikh prayer... my heart are too sober to be content because I'm scared of the weight of the world... I feel ashame of myself as I gradually lose this battle....

Lord, my life is devastating every single day....... I have my faith in you...... I don't need miracles... but I need a compassion in this fate.

O Allah... hear my grief and my hope, .... Ameen

As I lay me down,
Heaven hear me now.
I'm lost without a cause
After giving it my all.

Winter storms have come
And darkened my sun.
After all that I've been through
Who on earth can I turn to?

I look to you.
I look to you.
After all my strength is gone,
In you I can be strong

I look to you.
I look to you.
And when melodies are gone,
In you I hear a song.
I look to you.

About to lose my breathe,
There's no more fighting left,
Sinking to rise no more,
Searching for that open door.

And every road that I've taken
Lead to my regret.
And I don't know if I'm going to make it.
Nothing to do but lift my head

I look to you.
I look to you.
After all my strength is gone,
In you I can be strong

I look to you.
I look to you.
And when melodies are gone,
In you I hear a song.
I look to you.

My levees are broken
My walls have come
Tumbling down on me

The rain is falling.
Defeat is calling.
I need you to set me free.

Take me far away from the battle.
I need you.
Shine on me.

I look to you.
I look to you.
After all my strength is gone,
In you I can be strong

I look to you.
I look to you.
And when melodies are gone,
In you I hear a song.
I look to you.