I'm finally.......... Stuck

Warning: This post will contains "Self Praise Best Praise" (SPBP), delusional thoughts, uncertainty time line and unplanned future. Readers are advised to packed themselves with faith of rationality in case the author makes you in unspecific argument. Some point, writer had stated her honest confession. Writer's imagination is pretty sick.. she wants you to imagine it with different background music plot.

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~~~(Background Music= Queen - Somebody's to Love)~~~

Apparently, I don't know why I need to write this. Convincingly I'm stuck of nothing. Previously I was in the glorified moment of Aziya Hj. Zahar. Now I'm feeling empty..... maybe.

Back in 2003 I think I'd gotten my brain works the best.... when the brain works on their best.. so does the brain's owner personality and intelligence. Not many knows... before the year 2003, I always have shallow characteristic. I was a bashful person ....

with no sense of style, less friends, underpowered creativity, a loner but.... I think I have a good language, structure sentence (that's mean I've a sense of communicating) and a better body (matilah berangan ;p)


~~~(Background Music= Real McCoy - Runaway)~~~

Not many knows, I'm an Electric & Electronic Engineer student back in SPM. I'd dropped Biology subject and add Electric & Electronic course with Engineering Arts (Lukisan Kejuruteraan) alongside Physics, Add Maths and Chemistry. Is not something that I'd proud of, hence I'm not doing good in SPM. Luckily I didn't fail on any subjects. Only I'd learned that during my schooling era, I'd dared to leave the comfort zone (Science stream class) and doing something hard of uncertainty.

In 2002, I'd challenged myself again (berani mati) . I'm going back to my "supposed" field. Dad certainly disagree over my decision after serious SPM massacre but he finally let me doing it. I'd studied back Biology subject alongside Physic, Chemistry and Add Math in Pre-Science course and "whatdayya" know, I'm pass with flying colors.

~~~(Background Music= Saki Kas Kas - Callista)~~~

In 2003, I took Diploma in Medical Laboratory Technology course... honestly, I don't know what I'm doing, just following my damn guts and only aim to try finish it off without much complains on how hard the assignments and practical that's been throw to me. In 2003, I'm starting to follow itsy-bitsy Malaysia's Artists and Music. Vince Chong is the artist I'd followed the most. Not only that.... I'd developed another "skills/knowledge" called HTML and Photoshop. I understand thousands of HTML characteristic, build website the hard way. I learn it by myself... due to my high curiosity. Erm... I thought that my brains start it's "mitosis", and I'd started to develop and develop....... I "was" shocked when seeing my previous "master skills" in web designs and photoshop. I didn't realized that I'd blast off that far.. I'd juggled many things... study, designing, Vince, family, friends, money, karate-do, diet and stress. I don't do vacation (beach, waterfalls, islands, oversea trip etc.) like everybody does. Even the last time I go to Genting Highlans is in the year 1997 and I have NEVER enter Sunway Lagoon.. seriously. Some friends think that I might ended up self destruct for not trying to have SOME fun...

Well, attending Vince Chong's show is something fun (matilah statement).... ;p

~~~(Background Music= Prince - Gold) ~~~

Still "the brain" cloning themselves .. the success way ;p

I only took 5 years to complete my Diploma and Bachelor (Bsc. in BioMedicine) without failing any subject and repeat semester. I have a personal goal that time... FYI, I don't give a damn becoming valedictorians. I'm just study and having a great time with few friends I'd known. My goal is.....

"I want to complete my study as fast as I could with no FAIL at all"

~~~(Background music= James Horner - Hymn To The Sea (TITANIC)~~~

I'd involved in car accident twice. One case involved high collision accident. It happened in 2005 26th December. Around 8p.m

that's my car... really

Everybody couldn't believed I'm alive due the sad massacre. God save me with the helps of a seat belt and a kangaroo bar. I've to take a break for two weeks... while everybody is busy preparing for their 4th semester final exam (Bachelor era). In this moment I know some people didn't want to lend their hands helping me to coup with few final's assignment. I ain't copy people's assignment. I just wanna ask what we supposed to write in the specific topics !!!. I was "lost" for two damn weeks... remember?? I've to work it myself. "Self-centered"... the new words I'd learned that time. Ella, please don't blame yourself. It's my responsible to send you back home during the accident. Honestly it does effect my Bachelor's result... but I didn't take it a big regret. Shit does happened. God loves me.

History writes it all.... *smile*


~~~(Background music= SNAP-I've got the Power)~~~

Unrealized that I'd become too energetic, outburst, admired and powerful. I'm in top of the world !!!!!

I must thanking myself over my own brain "make-over". I start to gain friends, "frenemies" and enemies. I'd learn which is diamond and which is a freaking cheap glass. Every experience lies it's reasons and I'm glad I'm willing to go through it. I'm thanking you guys that willing to make friend with me *smile*

~~~(Background Music= Thomas Newman - American Beauty (Official Theme)~~~

2008 is a disastrous year for me.. I should re-quote this on the eve of 2009. I'd seriously fall sick, BIG argument with some people that I care, some people loves judge me pre-maturely and I decide to leave everything except the loyal FRIENDS. Due to my serious sickness, I'd lost the valuable stamina. This is the ultimate downfall for me. Wierdo !!!!

Example.... I'd lost interest to design my own damn blog . Even newbies could design blog better than me (probably it's pre-layout but hey... they wants to do it ). It is actually the easiest thing to do. But I choose to act otherwise. Wondering why I can juggle lot's of thing few years ago and I can't do it now. Lazy it the first thing in the list... but I'm a lazy person since I'm little kids.

I guess this is my downhill moment.... ahh so sad. Maybe it's time I should lay back and relax and enjoy my downfall *laugh*.


~~(Background Song= Phil Collins - I Wish It Would Rain Down)~~

Vince Chong FC is like a heart and soul. Even my aunties who likes Vince (in Sabah) always ask me. "any news of Vince?" I gain lot's friend by joining this group. I'm proud with this FC because everybody inside is like my close friend. We had rise and fall together. But it's time for me to move on. I'm leaving everything that related to "Vince Chong" (I'm sorry...) .

Dear Vince, if you read this .. I must tell you that I'm always praying for your success... Hope our memory in belovedfans (BFs) will remains forever. Forgive me for everything I'd said to you that makes you hurt.

Our last picture, September 2007

I pray God bless all the knowledge I'd gained during my Diploma's and Degree's. I still love HTML and Photoshop and I promise to get it back sooner. I must try to adapt my new enviroment... career !!!!

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End of the rants.
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Okay... at that moment I fell in peace......
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~~~(Background music= Bryan Adams - Here I Am)~~~
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OMG, i'm freaking bored..... I'm gonna die in crazy of boredoom !!!!!!!!!! Cuckoo.... Cuckooo !!!!!

Here I Am... I'm stuck of nothing... like somebody had cleaned my colorful yard. I need to do something... erm taking Master and Phd. non-stop without giving-up my job.. maybe taking off-course...oh no !!!!!! oh no!!!!!! I want to do bla..bla.. and bla..bla oh not forget bla..bla..bla (until the echoes fades)

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Seriously this girl forget the word "holidays & vacation".... even not fealing jealous when her parents wants to go holidays at Langkawi next year. She a freaking ROBOT anyway. Doesn't she know when to quit to listen to those "arteries hardening".. or she's freaking stingy or broke ????



p/s: You might think Aziya hj. Zahar needs to be self-destruct.. she ain't step into Sunway Lagoon yet.. or the freaking Wetworld in Shah Alam although lives nearby.