This few weeks I find myself living in the dark... fearing myself of uncertainty. I keep questioning myself when will I get out from stereotypical days of my life of been bullied or criticized for nothing, and push myself hard to explore other things that might be the best place to glaze myself and fulfill the hope of my beloved people in my life.
At this moment I prefer to keep quiet and focus about making change of my life personally. With few knowledge that I'd gained, I decide to adding another opportunity in my daily life. Few things I need to sacrifice in order to move myself up for challenge. As my feet start to marching few inches forward, the things called 'doubt' bugging me.
At this moment I prefer to keep quiet and focus about making change of my life personally. With few knowledge that I'd gained, I decide to adding another opportunity in my daily life. Few things I need to sacrifice in order to move myself up for challenge. As my feet start to marching few inches forward, the things called 'doubt' bugging me.
"Are you really serious for doing this ?"
"Does your parent's know ?"
"You'll never make it !!!!"
Honestly I'd shed few tears of hatred from the moment I know that I'd adsorb myself for letting my negative side conquering me and let other vicious and malicious snoob taking advantage of it.
Then I sit back and think that my mother does it worsen than what everybody say about me but I could take her offensive critique.. But, why in the hell I'm not stronger enough to kick out that nasty poop ? Or it's just me that still chill about it?.. I don't know. Or.. maybe I'd learn the terms "COOL" ? Mom, thank you for teaching me to be tough. Now I know why you do that. Because you love me.
At least some close friends understand of what I'd suffered and they "know" the real deal that happened. They hug me and motivated me to make a change of myself and seeding the stronger value and teamwork in me.
Today.... I'm crazy enough to burst the "pathetic" wrath in me and move on drastically.. in order to find something better in my life and ignoring the bitch talker. I never done that before.... I just can't bear myself for giving a lack of love to my family, although I'd gained few success in life. My motivation is very secret because I want to hold it very tight before I'll share it with others.
There are few special people had gave their support on me. I thank you all for cracking my cocoons of freight. Two of them are my strongest supporters. Actually I'd reach the 1st goal of "obstacle" in few days. I watch it with disbelief. I can't even walk for a few moments and again shed my tears to Allah for allowing me to change my fate to be a better woman. Alhamdulillah.... Allah is on my side... Alhamdulillah !!!
Next day that comes, will offer me for another challenges. I've gotten my strength and I'll do it without turning back.... again, without turning back.
p/s: Few days I'm working until near to midnight. Drive back feeling alone and helpless and now I don't mind drove back late from work because I can promised my Mom and Dad that I'll make her happy. O Allah, help me to reach my goal.
Then I sit back and think that my mother does it worsen than what everybody say about me but I could take her offensive critique.. But, why in the hell I'm not stronger enough to kick out that nasty poop ? Or it's just me that still chill about it?.. I don't know. Or.. maybe I'd learn the terms "COOL" ? Mom, thank you for teaching me to be tough. Now I know why you do that. Because you love me.
At least some close friends understand of what I'd suffered and they "know" the real deal that happened. They hug me and motivated me to make a change of myself and seeding the stronger value and teamwork in me.
Today.... I'm crazy enough to burst the "pathetic" wrath in me and move on drastically.. in order to find something better in my life and ignoring the bitch talker. I never done that before.... I just can't bear myself for giving a lack of love to my family, although I'd gained few success in life. My motivation is very secret because I want to hold it very tight before I'll share it with others.
There are few special people had gave their support on me. I thank you all for cracking my cocoons of freight. Two of them are my strongest supporters. Actually I'd reach the 1st goal of "obstacle" in few days. I watch it with disbelief. I can't even walk for a few moments and again shed my tears to Allah for allowing me to change my fate to be a better woman. Alhamdulillah.... Allah is on my side... Alhamdulillah !!!
Next day that comes, will offer me for another challenges. I've gotten my strength and I'll do it without turning back.... again, without turning back.
p/s: Few days I'm working until near to midnight. Drive back feeling alone and helpless and now I don't mind drove back late from work because I can promised my Mom and Dad that I'll make her happy. O Allah, help me to reach my goal.
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