4 months I'd leave my beloved blog-sphere... it's 4 months ... tsk... tsk.. tsk...
I didn't except to make a come back in here.. I think that I'd died and reincarnated as a person that's extremely pathetic on writing something in blog. The moment I was in hiatus, many things happens in my life... oh, I wish I could squeeze a little time to write about it in here at that moment.
I'll try to make this fits all the story that I would like to share on what's going on in my life lately.. so sit tight, grab some coffee and read my post
I'll try to make this fits all the story that I would like to share on what's going on in my life lately.. so sit tight, grab some coffee and read my post
THE BROKEN STRINGS OF LOVE
Few months ago, I'd shared to you the stories of the "guy" that I'd my crushed on and how the crush finally "crash" when I'd seen him with his girlfriend. So I've gotten myself another sad news.. He's finally ENGAGED !!!!! When I'd heard about it... I was motionless, I don't know what to react... If I'm really pathetic woman.... I would cry myself for "losing" him... But I didn't cry.. with God's name. I haven't seen him quite a while until 3 weeks ago we'd bumped again somewhere near my office. At first, I didn't catch the glimpse of him. He looks different with his Baju Melayu. I'd stared him and he stares me back, no smiles comes out from both of us... it's like we haven't known each other... a very cold and sad moment indeed. Anyway he looks good... I keep thinking, can I really let go my feelings towards him and throw it away and never comes back? His face keeps flailing in my mind and recently I'd keep hearing his name in the other office department although he wasn't there... I was hoping it was a coincidence but it's start to annoys me and makes me missed him badly. *sigh*
ADMITTED TO HOSPITAL
I've been admitted to hospital in mid-September due to Kidney stone. I was in the hospital for 5 days. Two days before, I'm having a great Iftar hours at my friends house. The day after the event, I'd started to feel painful cramps on my left waist and having a uremia moment. I didn't know how I'd gained a strength to bring myself to hospital WITHOUT getting help from anybody. Honestly, I didn't get enough rest due to laboratory affairs and worrying about career rather thinking about myself. I would like to say thank you to all the people that had visited me, sms me and prayed for me... I'd learn something about friendship and foes. People only come to you when they really needs you, but when we're in difficulties.. they didn't care about you a little.. Call me paranoid or spoiled but can't you spare a moment to show your concern to your friends???
F*ck You !!!!OFF THE ENGINES?
I think I couldn't control my emotion nowadays.. That's why two weeks ago I'd started to crying, yelling and screaming to co-worker (because he's such an A**)... I'm extremely tired of it. I keep thinking that I'm actually doing physical abuse to myself... Last month until todays, I'm too exhausted... I'm having flu for 3 weeks now and never eat any pills because I'm freaking busy. Nobody wants to understand my situations... I'm fighting hard not to collapse :(
THE LOVE TYPHOONS
MASTER
I think I couldn't control my emotion nowadays.. That's why two weeks ago I'd started to crying, yelling and screaming to co-worker (because he's such an A**)... I'm extremely tired of it. I keep thinking that I'm actually doing physical abuse to myself... Last month until todays, I'm too exhausted... I'm having flu for 3 weeks now and never eat any pills because I'm freaking busy. Nobody wants to understand my situations... I'm fighting hard not to collapse :(
THE LOVE TYPHOONS
One of the biggest "event" that happens in my life recently is that people thinks that I'm fall in love with a two guys on the same time. I'm so washed away by the "love" gossips ;p. So, I'm here to clarify my relationships with these two special mens;-
The first person "Y" is my friend for 7 years, but the last 4 years our friendships is getting closer and closer because we're in the same class, Since then we'd been studied together and hang-out with him very frequently. 2009 marks the year of our reunion after nearly 2 years we'd walked away from the university and embracing our new career ;p .... People had questioned our relationships because we're "too close"... Erm, not to buffer the arguments but yes, we're actually getting very close now. Compare to our friends in the study group, only Y and I are single ;p .. What can I say is, our relationships had reach the "plateau" level of so-called very closed friendships. We'd shared lot's of things together. He's my partner in crime and he has been there for me through thick and thin. But I didn't see the long term relationships as a real couples or getting married with him. Let God's decides what the best for both of us.
The second guy "W", is the man that I'd meet at my friend's house during Iftar session in Ramadhan. Although it's our first meet, he's obviously being a gentlemen by offering a helping hand that I didn't asked for it (because I prefer doing things by myself)... Of course my friends and I were shocked by his gestures and my friends said I'm very lucky that I'd meet a man that treat me nicely. I thought... after the Iftar gathering we will not seeing each other again. Until I'd been admitted to hospital two days after Iftar session, he is my first visitor by making a surprise visit on the first night I'd been warded. Of course I did sms few friends including him about my admission to hospital... but I didn't expected to receive a visitor "very quickly" (4 hours after admission).
If you asked me when is the real "time" we're both hook up.... I would say it happens after Eid-Fitr after he'd returned from London for a trip. We went out few times and attend few friends occasions together. I'd introduced him to Y *laugh*.... both are friends now. Lately, we haven't meet each other due to hectic schedule, we hardly have time to call or sms... you name it. After the gossip rises, I'd sensed that he might stay away from me. Maybe I'm paranoid about it. Until he'd make a surprise appearance at my friend's daughter birthday party. His concerns on me never change a little... Although he didn't reply my sms much.. he remembers every detail in it very well. Like "Y", "W" is a best listener, I'd enjoyed the communications and he'd been open minded about himself, families matters and lifestyle.
I'd lost my grandmother last two weeks and "W" is the only person that I'd called and to cried about it. I knew that he can't helped much but I hope he will understands it because I'm too brokenhearted due to many bad things happens to me few days before my grandmother's demise. Last Saturday (the day he'd attended at the birthday party) the first things he'd asked to me is how am I feeling. Me.. after 7 days of grieving still can easily cried about it. But I choose not too. Before he left the party, we look at each other. I knew he'd sensed my sadness... I knew he wants to give me a comfort hug (if he's my husband can hug lah). Luckily, I didn't ended up over reacted, with God's name... I rather not to talked what had happened next hehehe.... ;)
But, I'm still single by now and I'm grateful to know these two mens. Both are my friends. I let God decides over my fate.. I can only choose. But I believe that there's gotta be somebody for me out there.
The first person "Y" is my friend for 7 years, but the last 4 years our friendships is getting closer and closer because we're in the same class, Since then we'd been studied together and hang-out with him very frequently. 2009 marks the year of our reunion after nearly 2 years we'd walked away from the university and embracing our new career ;p .... People had questioned our relationships because we're "too close"... Erm, not to buffer the arguments but yes, we're actually getting very close now. Compare to our friends in the study group, only Y and I are single ;p .. What can I say is, our relationships had reach the "plateau" level of so-called very closed friendships. We'd shared lot's of things together. He's my partner in crime and he has been there for me through thick and thin. But I didn't see the long term relationships as a real couples or getting married with him. Let God's decides what the best for both of us.
The second guy "W", is the man that I'd meet at my friend's house during Iftar session in Ramadhan. Although it's our first meet, he's obviously being a gentlemen by offering a helping hand that I didn't asked for it (because I prefer doing things by myself)... Of course my friends and I were shocked by his gestures and my friends said I'm very lucky that I'd meet a man that treat me nicely. I thought... after the Iftar gathering we will not seeing each other again. Until I'd been admitted to hospital two days after Iftar session, he is my first visitor by making a surprise visit on the first night I'd been warded. Of course I did sms few friends including him about my admission to hospital... but I didn't expected to receive a visitor "very quickly" (4 hours after admission).
If you asked me when is the real "time" we're both hook up.... I would say it happens after Eid-Fitr after he'd returned from London for a trip. We went out few times and attend few friends occasions together. I'd introduced him to Y *laugh*.... both are friends now. Lately, we haven't meet each other due to hectic schedule, we hardly have time to call or sms... you name it. After the gossip rises, I'd sensed that he might stay away from me. Maybe I'm paranoid about it. Until he'd make a surprise appearance at my friend's daughter birthday party. His concerns on me never change a little... Although he didn't reply my sms much.. he remembers every detail in it very well. Like "Y", "W" is a best listener, I'd enjoyed the communications and he'd been open minded about himself, families matters and lifestyle.
I'd lost my grandmother last two weeks and "W" is the only person that I'd called and to cried about it. I knew that he can't helped much but I hope he will understands it because I'm too brokenhearted due to many bad things happens to me few days before my grandmother's demise. Last Saturday (the day he'd attended at the birthday party) the first things he'd asked to me is how am I feeling. Me.. after 7 days of grieving still can easily cried about it. But I choose not too. Before he left the party, we look at each other. I knew he'd sensed my sadness... I knew he wants to give me a comfort hug (if he's my husband can hug lah). Luckily, I didn't ended up over reacted, with God's name... I rather not to talked what had happened next hehehe.... ;)
But, I'm still single by now and I'm grateful to know these two mens. Both are my friends. I let God decides over my fate.. I can only choose. But I believe that there's gotta be somebody for me out there.
MASTER
Unofficially I'll pursuing my Master's Degree in University Malaya around mid-December. I'll taking course of Master's of Engineering (Occupational, Safety and Environment) or Master's of Engineering (BioMedical)... I've got two offers for the same faculty and decided to look for the elective courses... Engineering?? Scary !!!!
2 comments:
that is sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooosweet! :) I think 'W' maybe have feelings too but u know..soal perasaan nih berat sikit..hanye tuan empunye diri yg tahu..only time will tell..let things flow smoothly...who knows..remember: Perempuan baik untuk lelaki baik..for now just enjoy the show..good luck, girl! XD
I have a different thoughts about Y and W nowadays.... and it gets complicated.... I'm really grateful to have them in my life... but like you said, enjoy the show.
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